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People can smell fakery like bad B. People only want to sleep with dicks in a literal sense; being one figuratively will most certainly not get you laid.

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If you asked someone out, pay. Take them somewhere fancy and you increase what they owe you from head-job to sex. I live in the belief that no one is ugly, but I also acknowledge that some are more blessed with natural aesthetic than others.

DO NOT rock out with your cock out. DO NOT grind, on anything, ever.

DO NOT be desperate. Man up, take one of the team, and invite someone home tonight! Guys will go gaga.

Which is pretty sexless. But all is not lost, o chaste ones!

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I am here to undo the doing of Sir Gondelman, with some anti-avoiding getting sexed tips or 10 simple ways to get laid.

That wordage for some reason completely turned me off…but that was fucking hilarious. There is more to life than sex, people.

Way to fuel the stereotype about our age group being nothing but hormone-crazed tweens. Just read an article relevant to that sentiment: Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best ttonight from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time.

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Visit a red light district. Being a dick works great for those who are exempt from 1 as long as they fit under 5. Get our newsletter every Friday!